Wednesday, May 03, 2017

You Will Be Missed (for about seven days)

In hopes of playing Ironsword: Wizards & Warriors 2 (I don't know why), I decided to hook up my RetroDuo to the smaller television in the living room. Before turning it on or inserting a game, I merely plugged in the console and was greeting, first, with a loud hum, followed by a pop, and, lastly, a trail of smoke from the NES outlet. Turning the system on only causes it to hum now. Games don't play. The light doesn't work. R.O.B. is out killing all humans. It's just me staring at Fabio Lanzoni dressed as Kuros and wishing I had some real butter.
Well, he's no Kevin Sorbo, but then, who is?
The RetroDuo wasn't a great system, and the controllers constantly tried to make me go left, which is a major no-no when it comes to classic gaming...
Two P. or not Two P?
I believe the real question is"'Why didn't you pick Mike Motherfuckin' Haggar?"
...but it was affordable, and I own plenty of functional cartridges to use with it. I even bought a few more, including Legendary Wings, the game I was playing prior to moving the console to the living room. Ha! While typing that, I realized that the RetroDuo died in the living room... get it? Yeah, well, fuck you, too! I thought that was chuckleworthy. Asshole.

Currently, I am unable to bring myself to properly bury this clone console. I certainly don't possess the knowledge necessary to fix it. Instead, I went online and purchased the Hyperkin RetroN5, which will arrive in about a week (hopefully). By then, I believe I will be able to move on with my (non-existent) life, but, for now, a moment of silence for the RetroDuo.

Feel free to shitpost in the comments section below (especially about emulators). It's what the RetroDuo would have wanted.